CONGRATS !
You have reached another Valentine’s Day! Ha ha (crying inside really…)
Regardless, one thing we’ve noticed on this day is the focus on TWO types of love: ROMANTIC and SELF.
Whilst we know ROMANTIC love is beautiful and SELF love is fulfilling, dwelling solely on these two alone can start to become toxic.
And we don’t do anything toxic!
So what are you talking about, I hear you say???
WELCOME to FRIENDSHIP…
Wooooop!
I know you are NOT cheering. You really thought we were going to give you tips on how to make them like you... HA!
Sorry, not sorry. That kind of blog post can be found elsewhere. Here, we are trying to make you grow in all ways including your lifelong friends.
Now think about this--
Why do YOU have friends?
Is it because y’all like jerk chicken or because you complimented them one day and now you’re besties?
To have friends is to have companionship with someone that has a similar mindset to you.
Does this person align themselves with your value system?
Do they celebrate your wins without feeling the need to bring up their own?
Do they check on your well-being?
If not, then are they part of your inner circle?
What is an inner circle?
The person/group that builds you, shapes you, and wants the best for you.
The desire that you have for connection and companionship may not be found this Valentine’s in a romantic partner, but actually platonic relationships.
You have been screaming that your partner should do this... and behave like this… and give you this… BUT you haven’t even done this for people you call your friends?
When was the last time you said “I love you” to your inner circle? Have you ever? And if not, what makes you believe these behaviours will automatically develop into a romantic relationship?
Now you must be triggered 😤
HOW DO WE DO BETTER?
1. BUILD YOUR INNER CIRCLE
Who are the people that you turn to when you feel like nothing is working ?
Sometimes we feel like the people who we have spent the most amount of time with should be inner inner circle:
"The amount of time that you spend with someone should not determine who can speak into your life." - DC
2. BE VOCAL + VULNERABLE
To say “I love you” is wayyyy easier said than done!
But what I want for you is to have a safe space where you can feel vulnerable-- whatever vulnerability looks like to you.
To be vulnerable is to be "exposed" in a positive sense; to share what has been impacting you in a way that you have yet to express.
I want you to think about this: in your friendships, have you been able to be vulnerable? Have you been able to be candid and clear about how you feel? Including when you are disappointed and frustrated?
3. PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS ARE IMPORTANT
MATEEE, romantic relationships are not the be-all and end-all.
To build a platonic friendship is difficult. I would even say it is harder because you are fighting for someone who you truly trust and depend on.
"YOU NEED FRIENDS!"
We really dislike the toxic HYPER INDEPENDENT culture that advocates for you to do EVERYTHING ALONE.
"Community is necessary."
Not everything can be done alone -- sometimes you need a sisterhood that can help you.
4. BE HUMBLE
Are you truly fighting for this friendship? Do you know when to put your pride aside?
We know that sometimes our ego can get in the way of building a friendship, especially one that actually has value.
We really want you to put aside your reputation, how the outside world perceives you, how you have been taught to be and BE YOU this year!
BE who you truly are.
Cry if you need to.
Shout and dance if you need to.
But always remember that you are no better than anyone, rather everyone is on their journey to growth.
So this year, let's build friendship and become better friends!
